The Unspoken Rules
Every workplace has unwritten rules, identifying those is key to build a culture where individuals perform to their best. What can you do as a leader?
Every organisation has unspoken rules—the unwritten guidelines that shape how teams operate, how decisions are made, and how influence is wielded. If you want to deliver value fast, engineering, product, and other departments must work together seamlessly, these unspoken rules can either fuel innovation or create bottlenecks that slow teams down.
In my experience leading multiple teams in a product-driven organisation, I’ve seen how these invisible norms emerge, sometimes for good, sometimes to the detriment of progress. Recognising and addressing these dynamics is essential for building a high-performing organisation where transparency, collaboration, and trust thrive.
This article includes my thoughts and experience on unspoken rules, how they manifest in engineering and product teams, and how leaders can navigate them to foster better collaboration and efficiency.
1. The Invisible Lines Between Engineering and Product
One of the most common unspoken rules in a technology company is who really owns what—especially in the relationship between Engineering and Product.
Officially, Product defines what to build, and Engineering decides how to build it. But in practice, the lines are blurred. Some product managers assume engineering will challenge unrealistic timelines, while some engineers assume product has validated every customer need before prioritisation. When these assumptions go unchecked, frustration grows on both sides.
The Unspoken Rules at Play:
Here are some unspoken rules that might be hiding in plain sight when it comes to product and engineering teams:
“Don’t challenge the roadmap.” Engineers may hesitate to push back on roadmap decisions, fearing they’ll be seen as blockers rather than partners.
“Engineers should stick to execution.” In some organisations, there’s an implicit belief that Engineering’s role is to deliver, not to challenge product assumptions.
“If Product wants it done, we’ll figure it out.” Teams may commit to unrealistic timelines, leading to burnout or technical debt.
How Leaders Can Address This:
Some of the ways you can tackle these is to:
Encourage healthy friction. Engineering and Product should challenge each other in structured ways, such as through engineering feasibility reviews or regular discussions on technical trade-offs.
Create clear collaboration norms. Define decision-making boundaries so engineers know when and how they can push back.
Push for technical excellence, not just delivery. Ensure the roadmap allows space for addressing technical debt, scalability, and developer experience improvements.
2. The Unspoken Hierarchies and Power Centres
In any organisation, influence doesn’t always follow the official org chart. Over time, informal power centres emerge, and teams operate based on relationships rather than structure.
An engineering leader may technically oversee all engineering teams, but in practice, some engineers and managers hold more influence than others, regardless of title. This influence could stem from tenure, deep domain knowledge, or simply strong relationships with leadership.
The Unspoken Rules at Play:
“Certain people’s opinions matter more.” A long-tenured engineer or a vocal PM might hold disproportionate influence over decisions.
“Teams protect their own priorities.” Even in cross-functional orgs, some teams subtly resist priorities that don’t benefit their immediate goals.
“The loudest voice often wins.” Teams that proactively push their ideas (or have a champion in leadership) get more resources.
How Leaders Can Address This:
Make decision-making transparent. Clearly document and communicate how technical and product decisions are made.
Distribute influence strategically. Rotate leadership opportunities so no single person or team hoards all the decision-making power.
Foster a culture of diverse input. Actively bring quieter voices into discussions and ensure that influence isn’t based on tenure or loudness alone.
3. The Tribal Nature of Teams and Their Unspoken Norms
As companies grow, teams form their own micro-cultures, with unique unspoken rules that shape their behaviours and interactions with the broader organisation.
The growth team may have a “move fast and break things” approach, while the infrastructure team priorities stability and long-term thinking. These differences lead to conflicting expectations.
The Unspoken Rules at Play:
“We don’t do things that way here.” Each team has its preferred way of working, and outsiders who challenge it may face resistance.
“Ops and Security teams are gatekeepers.” Engineering teams may view these teams as blockers rather than partners.
“Startups don’t need process.” Early-stage companies often resist structured processes, only to struggle with chaos as they scale.
How Leaders Can Address This:
Bridge team silos proactively. Regular cross-team syncs, rotations, or shared KPIs help align goals.
Balance speed and quality. Ensure growth-oriented teams and stability-focused teams understand each other’s trade-offs.
Evolve processes as needed. Processes should adapt to the company’s stage—lightweight in early growth, more structured as complexity increases.
4. The Unspoken Rules of Leadership and Career Growth
In high-performing organisations, career growth often depends on more than just technical skill. The way engineers and leaders navigate company politics, relationships, and visibility can make or break their advancement.
Officially, promotions are based on performance and impact. In reality, there are often hidden factors at play—who you align with, how you communicate your achievements, and whether you’re seen as a leader beyond your immediate role.
The Unspoken Rules at Play:
“Self-promotion matters.” Engineers who actively showcase their impact get noticed more than those who quietly deliver great work.
“Mentorship accelerates careers.” Those with strong mentors or champions rise faster.
“Perception shapes reality.” Leaders who communicate well are often perceived as more effective, even if their execution is on par with others.
How Leaders Can Address This:
Make career progression criteria explicit. Ensure engineers know what’s expected at each level beyond just “technical excellence.”
Encourage visibility without ego. Help engineers talk about their work in ways that highlight impact rather than self-promotion.
Build mentorship networks. Pair engineers with sponsors who advocate for their growth.
Making the Unspoken, Spoken
Unspoken rules exist in every SaaS company, shaping how teams collaborate, how decisions are made, and how careers progress. The key for engineering leaders is to recognise these dynamics, bring them into the open, and actively shape them for the better.
As leaders, we should ask:
What unspoken norms are holding our teams back?
How can we create a culture where expectations are clear and feedback flows openly?
Are we fostering an environment where engineers and product teams challenge each other constructively rather than working in silos?
The best organisations aren’t just good at executing—they’re good at surfacing, questioning, and refining their unspoken rules to ensure alignment, fairness, and innovation. The more we make the implicit explicit, the stronger our teams and products will become.